Clouds that may pass…

November 24, 2007 by julie.

The
  clouds that stay and follow me over my head do not last for long. I am sooo
  blessed to have such wonderful friendships and an amazing Husband that helps
  those clouds pass quickly. Out of the darkness and into the light. I have had
  to fight for 19 years and will continue to do just that but I am ready to do
  just that. Just as I have been. Not all those that know me just passing me by
  on the street or in a store would know I have had such a struggle going on in me all
  the time. I feel the strength of my Mother’s embrace, I hear her last words
  to me, I hear mine to Her. It will be 19 yrs. on the 29th, since she has been
  physically out of my life and been replaced by fear. I wonder what tomorrow
  holds for my children and I and Dale. So much changes so quickly. I have God,
  my Savior, He gets me through each day as I stumble. The clouds continue to
  part as I believe. I will always believe. I will always put my trust in the
  Lord. I know my life has had its meaning and has more. I know I have influence
  on my Children and even their Children. I already am planning my days with Cole
  and Addison’s Little ones. I will not waste ONE moment. Life is way to short.
  My Father would say: ” You cannot enjoy it once you are gone” and he never knew
  he would pass so early in his early 50’s, He lived every day for each moment. Dale and
I are doing the same. We have been heart-broken over past experiences but that
  just makes us stronger. We know what everything we have done is all we can do,
  and is done. Everything is in God’s hands now. These razors that bite at me
  and only me, not Dale. Will be something I will fight against forever. BUT I
  will not let them win. Yes, I am in a tug of war, I have felt despair and pain. I have
  been in those Dark Clouds, but I am ME, and I believe in GOD, Together we will
  win, These dark clouds will part and I will have my peace I soo long…not just
  every once in a while, but every day. To wake up everyday here in AZ and want
  the rain is very very sad. I am tired of the sun. It hurts my eyes. Life is
  crazy. Lucky I have Dale to fall to, He is my Arms of safety. I pre apologize for this entry, i am vulnerable right now. I love you all. xoxoxoxoxoxo-J

It takes Courage period.

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